May 5, 2020 at 4:26 AM
this is not self-pity although i pity my self,
now i know i'm no good apart from Your help;
never could have i realized how wretched is me
for i thought i've got it. oh could that be?
thought i could please you with the works i can do,
how foolish i am to think they're good too!
little to never that i would be able to know
that apart from Him those were rugs to You
without You leading me to open my eyes
to the fallen truth and masquerading lies!
the beautiful mask of this ugly world
started to fade and slowly unfold
to selfish desires and vilest motivation
with the kind of evil beyond comprehension!
oh i did say "i am nothing like them"
for i thought in my heart i have a good gem.
i was confident i am better, to say the least,
not knowing that confidence was truly a beast.
a pride who taught me to put myself first
but oh i know now it should be reversed!
i am not even worthy to sing You praise
yet on His merit You see my hands raised!
to the Lord and my King is the reverence
for between Him and me was a great severance
if it had not been bridged by His mercy and love,
a gift purely by grace from Your throne above!
even all my words could never describe,
could never explain or never transcribe
what happened that day He rescued my soul
from Your justice and wrath that's about to fall!
this bubbling i make is no good still
it is just what my limited mind could fill.
in simplest sense what i ought to say
is without Your grace i am nothing today!
yesterday's vapor-glory that i tried to win
is no good compare to what i will have in Him!
the more i see Him, the more i loathe me;
this vital truth took me ages to see!
i have made myself an idol and god
a foolish faith, no good, false and flawed!
oh how i pray and hope You'll let them see too
that the life we breathe is all about You;
that in this world we barely pass by
so we should know Christ before it's goodbye.
with all of our might i hope we'll learn to seek
not when we are old and already weak.
read and dig, read and dig continually,
we shall find the truth eventually.
for days fleeting and fading quickly
and what's done for His Name is what will count only.
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